World Vision: Haiti Earthquake Relief

World Vision: Haiti Earthquake Relief

StucK

Yeah, it's the New Year...Again. I felt a burst of optimism at first but I have to admit it's slowly fading.
I feel stuck.
I want to move somewhere warmer. (This may seem trivial to most people, but anyone that knows me or anyone that suffers from seasonal depression can attest that it is more important than it appears to be)
I also want to live closer to my sister, who lives in Portland, OR. (Not the warmest of places on the planet, but I do think I could find my place there)
I always say -Contentment is not circumstantial. It's true. I think I can be content in any situation. But I don't just want to be content. I want to be "at my very best". The very best JOY! I'm not exactly sure what this looks like, but I know I am not there right now. 
I just signed up for classes for this semester which means I won't be going anywhere until May, unless I drop my classes. Which is something I am almost considering at this point.
My husband is working a job he hates.
And it's cold.
We need degrees. We need money. I am stuck. 

I wrestle and cry and sometimes it feels like my heart is tearing inside my chest,
like a piece of cloth being ripped in two….
My soul screaming within me- “How can this be!?”
It doesn’t make sense
It isn’t clear
That I can feed my baby boy
as easily as opening a door and twisting the top off
But You, YOU, precious child of God
You watch your baby wail in pain
The hunger pangs that eat away inside his little tummy
And all you can do is watch ….
and pray….
Do you pray that I would do something?
Do you pray that some woman far away that has tons of resources
would try to share the word with others that you have none
none
nothing but a tiny baby
skin and bones
and a balloon tummy from malnutrition
and disease
And I will pray and I will give and I will do what He tells me to do to try to raise awareness that you are out there and you are suffering
We can help
We can all help

GoatsForGifts

Flack Briday

So I didn't get up at 3AM to go shopping...but  I heard it was kinda nutz.
I tried to support "buy nothing day" but last night I had a real hankering (did I seriously just use that word?) for something sweet, so my husband and I went to Red Robin for some Milkshakes.
I don't think "buy nothing day" should be this concrete thing, if you need something, go get it. But I like the idea. The idea that we start reThinking Christmas; what it's about, what it has turned into, and what it has turned us into.

Thoughts for the day,

I can't believe how fast time is going by...the more I try to chase it, the faster it goes.
I am determined to make the most out of my "story". I refuse to live my life empty, for myself, without love...
I know God wants to use the pain in my life and the stupid mistakes  I have made and turn them into something beautiful...Restoration...
Years ago when I was struggling through my crap, crying out for healing from God- I pleaded with Him,
"Please, God, use my sin. Use it for Your glory"
That has been my prayer and continues to be. I can feel God whispering to me "It's time."
Although, I haven't felt ready for God to use my sin, I am willing.
You see, I thought that I would "have it all together" before God sent me out to do His work in the places I have come out of. But what I have heard Him telling me is that He wants to me to start now and He will continue to "put me together" as I share His love with broken people.

I continue to wrestle with what the Holy Spirit is guiding me to do and my own desires. Even though my desires may be well intended, if they are not the Lord's work, it's best for me to just chill.
I am seeking others who are like-minded and share the same passions as I do. I am surprised to find how few of them there are out there.
I fear many people are so guilt ridden over their sin and feel so alone they need to do or use things to cope with it. It's easier to watch evening sitcoms with the family and escape than sit down with our spouse and admit our pornography addiction or to discuss our worsening depression.
We hold the vomit in our throat as long as we can, hoping we can get away to release it before someone sees how sick we are. But it never works that way, does it. We excuse ourselves but everyone knows that there is something wrong, or worse, it releases itself without control and takes a whole lot of people down with it.
It is time to dig deep- Get real and start being honest with ourselves and others.

Thanks for reading
Joy

Goats for Gifts

This Christmas I am trying to encourage people to do something a little different.
Not buying more stuff for each other that we really don't need.
Instead, Let's Give!!!
I am suggesting buying goats (and cows, chickens, building wells) for families that do not have access to jobs, food, or clean drinking water.
firstgiving.com/joyfasbender

 why a goat?

Goats can thrive in extreme climates and on poor, dry land by eating grass and leaves. The gift of a dairy goat can supply a family with up to several quarts of nutritious milk a day. Extra milk can be sold or used to make cheese, butter or yogurt. Families learn to use goat manure to fertilize gardens.Because goats often have two or three kids a year, families can begin to lift themselves out of poverty by starting small dairies that earn money for food, health care and education.

 but I'm not rich!

Do you have a car?

Do you have clean drinking water?

Do you have access to food?

Actually, You are rich compared to most of the world....

 

Because of our incredible wealth here in US, we have a huge responsibility to help people that do not have access to resources. These people need resources that can  provide them with food and a steady income....